Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I still have a little drunk in my system
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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