I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
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