I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
