glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
