Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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