1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I did not marry a roomba.
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