he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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