problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
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