toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
All the doctor said was why
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
