i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
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Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
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it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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