Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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