I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
