I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Randomize
