You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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