i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
We're too hungover to prance.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Randomize
