your room smells of hookers.
And success
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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