Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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