i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
