I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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