Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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