She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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