I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
we're making bets on your personal life
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I think a kid would responsible me up
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize
