You can't motorboat a personality
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
