Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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