I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
