We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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