I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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