i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
