i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
