Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
farters have to be the big spoon...
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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