Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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