He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
