I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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