they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
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Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
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I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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