You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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