Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
