I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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