Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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