I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
