You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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