I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
