There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
