Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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