Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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