I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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