I swear god or herbie drove my car home
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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