I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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