piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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