I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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