i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize