Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
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