Welp...herpes.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
