True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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