you mean i was at the winter classic?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
