i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
