so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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