Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
