Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
