question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
