Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
