distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
