there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
