my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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